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Marriage

Day 10: Mary and Joseph’s Betrothal

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.

Luke 1:26-27

In this passage, Luke mentions an angel sent from God, Joseph’s connection to King David, and twice the virgin state of Mary. The appearance of these miraculous and meritorious contextual elements tends to overshadow a word that is typically foreign to the 21st-century western vocabulary: betrothed (bih-trothd). The angel Gabriel, the Davidic lineage, and the virgin birth mentioned in Luke 1:26-27 all hold their rightful places within the first advent, but the betrothal of Mary and Joseph also points us directly to the second coming of our Savior by providing a vivid picture of our current reality: as Mary waited for the consummation of her marriage, so we presently await the day when Jesus returns in glory for his Bride. A basic understanding of the concept of betrothal, where we find Mary and Joseph in this text, will help us to uncover the theological implications of the word. Perhaps, we will even value the concept of betrothal like the way we value Luke’s mention Gabriel’s message, David’s offspring, and Mary’s chastity.

Before investigating the concept of betrothal, I want to make it clear that I am not attempting to over-spiritualize the text in Luke 1:26-27. However, I am asserting that this is one detail among many in the first advent story that, if understood properly, causes us to think and find hope in the second advent of Christ. My aim is for the listener to never skim over the word “betrothal” in Luke 1:27 and fail to think about the day Christ comes back to be with his Bride.

Describing the Concept of Betrothal

Historically, the Jewish union between one man and one woman consisted of three stages: engagement, betrothal, and marriage.[1] Although not exactly like the Hebrews did, we readily understand the concepts of engagement and marriage through observations in modern culture. Today, one may try to relate the betrothal period to a modern-day engagement (the period between the proposal and wedding ceremony), however, this likening minimizes the significance of a betrothal by disregarding its binding legal demands.

“Betrothal meant the entering into the legal contract of marriage.”[2] Deuteronomy 22:23-27 displays how binding a betrothal was on its participants. This text teaches that infidelity during the betrothal period was tantamount to adultery between a husband and wife.

Another significant difference in a modern-day engagement and the betrothal between Mary and Joseph is what it takes to terminate each one. Today, if a couple decides to call off the wedding ceremony they simply “break up.” When Joseph thought Mary was pregnant by another man and not the Holy Spirit, he “resolved to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). Today, the word divorce is often only used to discuss the legal termination of government recognized marriages but back then, a betrothal was seen just as binding as a biblically based marriage between one man and one woman is today.

For Joseph to become betrothed to Mary, he most likely paid the “Bridal Price.” This concept is recorded in Genesis 34:12 and 1 Samuel 18:25. This was a payment to the bride’s father, who would save that payment to ensure care for his daughter incase anything unforeseen happened to her future husband or the marital union itself. The Bridal Price also displayed a level of commitment from the young man to the young woman. This concept portrays perfectly the price Jesus paid on the cross to ensure the future security of his Bride (Acts 20:28).[3] Once the price was paid, the betrothal became binding.

How the Concept of Betrothal Applies Today

The timeframe of the betrothal was typically a year or more but could be shorter depending on the specific situation. During this time, the man would go to his father’s house and prepare for his bride. He would usually build on an additional room and work to furnish it throughout the betrothal. In John 14:2-3, Jesus reveals to his disciples that he is going to prepare a place for them in Heaven. Jesus says, “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

This language exudes betrothal concepts: Jesus is going to his Father’s house, he is preparing rooms, and he is doing it so that his disciples can live with him forever. These facts further the claim that the concept of betrothal has theological implications on our current reality. Jesus paid the bridal price at Calvary, he has gone to his Father’s house to prepare for his Bride, and he will come again one glorious day so that he may dwell with her for all of eternity. The Church is in the betrothal stage of marriage with her Bridegroom and must prepare herself for his second coming.

In the Jewish culture, while the man went away to prepare a room for his betrothed, the Jewish woman had some work of her own to accomplish. She had to assemble her trousseau, or bridal goods. Depending on the woman’s economic status, some of these items may have included clothes, linens, jewelry, basins, and blankets.[4] The picture we get is that the husband was not the only one preparing to permanently dwell with their future spouse. Today, the church is the Bride of Christ. Like the Ancient Jewish bride, we must prepare every day for the consummation of our marriage with the Bridegroom. For Jesus will not fail to prepare a place for us and we must not fail to prepare ourselves for him. Let’s look at Revelation 19:7-9 as we look forward to the consummation of our covenant vows with our Lord:

Let us rejoice and exult and give him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure – for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’                           

In the words of theologian Wayne Grudem, “To ‘be ready’ for Christ’s return is to be faithfully obeying him in the present.”[5] In this season of the celebration of the first advent of our Lord, may you be found faithfully obeying him in anticipation of his second advent.


[1] Ivan G. Marcus, “Engagement, Betrothal, and Marriage,” in The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage From Biblical to Modern Times (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2004),124-126.

[2] John Barton and John Muddiman, The Oxford Bible Commentary (Oxford University Press: Oxford, 2007), 927.

[3] John MacArthur, The Second Coming: Signs of Christ’s Return and the End of the Age (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 1999), 37-38.

[4] Ivan G. Marcus, “Engagement, Betrothal, and Marriage,” in The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage From Biblical to Modern Times (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2004),142.

[5] Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1994), 1093.

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