Marriage – The Twelve Days of Advent

In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.

Luke 1:26-27

In this passage, Luke mentions an angel sent from God, Joseph’s connection to King David, and twice the virgin state of Mary. The appearance of these miraculous and meritorious contextual elements tends to overshadow a word that is typically foreign to the 21st-century western vocabulary: betrothed (bih-trothd). The angel Gabriel, the Davidic lineage, and the virgin birth mentioned in Luke 1:26-27 all hold their rightful places within the first advent, but the betrothal of Mary and Joseph also points us directly to the second coming of our Savior by providing a vivid picture of our current reality: as Mary waited for the consummation of her marriage, so we presently await the day when Jesus returns in glory for his Bride. A basic understanding of the concept of betrothal, where we find Mary and Joseph in this text, will help us to uncover the theological implications of the word. Perhaps, we will even value the concept of betrothal like the way we value Luke’s mention Gabriel’s message, David’s offspring, and Mary’s chastity.

Before investigating the concept of betrothal, I want to make it clear that I am not attempting to over-spiritualize the text in Luke 1:26-27. However, I am asserting that this is one detail among many in the first advent story that, if understood properly, causes us to think and find hope in the second advent of Christ. My aim is for the listener to never skim over the word “betrothal” in Luke 1:27 and fail to think about the day Christ comes back to be with his Bride.

Describing the Concept of Betrothal

Historically, the Jewish union between one man and one woman consisted of three stages: engagement, betrothal, and marriage.[1] Although not exactly like the Hebrews did, we readily understand the concepts of engagement and marriage through observations in modern culture. Today, one may try to relate the betrothal period to a modern-day engagement (the period between the proposal and wedding ceremony), however, this likening minimizes the significance of a betrothal by disregarding its binding legal demands.

“Betrothal meant the entering into the legal contract of marriage.”[2] Deuteronomy 22:23-27 displays how binding a betrothal was on its participants. This text teaches that infidelity during the betrothal period was tantamount to adultery between a husband and wife.

Another significant difference in a modern-day engagement and the betrothal between Mary and Joseph is what it takes to terminate each one. Today, if a couple decides to call off the wedding ceremony they simply “break up.” When Joseph thought Mary was pregnant by another man and not the Holy Spirit, he “resolved to divorce her quietly” (Matthew 1:19). Today, the word divorce is often only used to discuss the legal termination of government recognized marriages but back then, a betrothal was seen just as binding as a biblically based marriage between one man and one woman is today.

For Joseph to become betrothed to Mary, he most likely paid the “Bridal Price.” This concept is recorded in Genesis 34:12 and 1 Samuel 18:25. This was a payment to the bride’s father, who would save that payment to ensure care for his daughter incase anything unforeseen happened to her future husband or the marital union itself. The Bridal Price also displayed a level of commitment from the young man to the young woman. This concept portrays perfectly the price Jesus paid on the cross to ensure the future security of his Bride (Acts 20:28).[3] Once the price was paid, the betrothal became binding.

How the Concept of Betrothal Applies Today

The timeframe of the betrothal was typically a year or more but could be shorter depending on the specific situation. During this time, the man would go to his father’s house and prepare for his bride. He would usually build on an additional room and work to furnish it throughout the betrothal. In John 14:2-3, Jesus reveals to his disciples that he is going to prepare a place for them in Heaven. Jesus says, “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”

This language exudes betrothal concepts: Jesus is going to his Father’s house, he is preparing rooms, and he is doing it so that his disciples can live with him forever. These facts further the claim that the concept of betrothal has theological implications on our current reality. Jesus paid the bridal price at Calvary, he has gone to his Father’s house to prepare for his Bride, and he will come again one glorious day so that he may dwell with her for all of eternity. The Church is in the betrothal stage of marriage with her Bridegroom and must prepare herself for his second coming.

In the Jewish culture, while the man went away to prepare a room for his betrothed, the Jewish woman had some work of her own to accomplish. She had to assemble her trousseau, or bridal goods. Depending on the woman’s economic status, some of these items may have included clothes, linens, jewelry, basins, and blankets.[4] The picture we get is that the husband was not the only one preparing to permanently dwell with their future spouse. Today, the church is the Bride of Christ. Like the Ancient Jewish bride, we must prepare every day for the consummation of our marriage with the Bridegroom. For Jesus will not fail to prepare a place for us and we must not fail to prepare ourselves for him. Let’s look at Revelation 19:7-9 as we look forward to the consummation of our covenant vows with our Lord:

Let us rejoice and exult and give him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and his Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure – for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints. And the angel said to me, ‘Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’

In the words of theologian Wayne Grudem, “To ‘be ready’ for Christ’s return is to be faithfully obeying him in the present.”[5] In this season of the celebration of the first advent of our Lord, may you be found faithfully obeying him in anticipation of his second advent.

[1] Ivan G. Marcus, “Engagement, Betrothal, and Marriage,” in The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage From Biblical to Modern Times (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2004),124-126.

[2] John Barton and John Muddiman, The Oxford Bible Commentary (Oxford University Press: Oxford, 2007), 927.

[3] John MacArthur, The Second Coming: Signs of Christ’s Return and the End of the Age (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 1999), 37-38.

[4] Ivan G. Marcus, “Engagement, Betrothal, and Marriage,” in The Jewish Life Cycle: Rites of Passage From Biblical to Modern Times (Seattle: University of Washington Press, 2004),142.

[5] Wayne Grudem, Systematic Theology: An Introduction to Biblical Doctrine, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1994), 1093.

And they were both righteous before God, walking blamelessly in all the commandments and statutes of the Lord. But they had no child, because Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.

Luke 1:6-7

The story of the first advent revolves around the scene of a mother and her baby. For some, this sight, majestic and wonderful as it is, produces a prick in the heart. Those who are barren, have miscarried, or experienced the loss of a child may feel less joyful than others at the reminder of a baby wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. For these precious people with heavy hearts, we turn to Elizabeth, who Luke describes as: righteous, blameless, barren, and advanced in years (Luke 1:6-7).

Elizabeth and her husband were “righteous before God” (Luke 1:6). The term righteous in both the Old Testament and New Testament carries the sense of conformity to a standard.[1] Their conformity manifested itself as the couple went about “walking blamelessly,” a phrase Luke used to display Zechariah and Elizabeth’s obedience to God’s law, or standard. In Romans 6, Paul captures the very essence of Zechariah and Elizabeth’s lives: obedience leads to righteousness and righteousness leads to sanctification (vv. 17-19). They conformed to God’s standard of holiness through obedience.

In Luke 1:5, just before he called Elizabeth righteous, Luke provided a detail about her ancestry that highlighted the distress of her childlessness. She was “from the daughters of Aaron” (Luke 1:5), which meant she descended from a long line of devout Jewish priests (Lev. 8-9), who were experts in the Levitical Law. “Leviticus 20:20-21 shows that the Hebrews thought childlessness was a sign of divine punishment.”[2] In the eyes of Elizabeth’s family and the society she lived in, her barrenness must have been divine punishment because they thought one could not simultaneously be blameless and barren.

Luke also revealed that Elizabeth was “advanced in years” (Luke 1:7). Her age added hopelessness to her plight. She referred to her state of elderly barrenness as “my reproach[3] among the people” (Luke 1:25).

Luke’s four descriptions of Elizabeth were: righteous, blameless, barren, and advanced in years (Luke 1:6-7). This description brings into focus the picture of a woman who was deeply aware of her barrenness and society’s view of her state (Luke 1:25), yet never allowed the circumstance to compromise her love and devotion to God or her husband. There is no biblical indication that she blamed, cursed, or disobeyed God because of her barrenness. She was simultaneously blameless and barren. She was not at fault for her infertility despite a historic notion to the contrary. God was not punishing Elizabeth, but rather he was executing his plan in her life.

Even though Elizabeth and Zechariah were blameless, they were not painless. They were image-bearers of God with real feelings and emotions. It is likely that they felt sorrow and sadness. They may have even perceived a sense of emptiness and loss. Despite anything hurtful that they felt, it is evident that the pain of childlessness brought the couple closer to God. In their pursuit of righteousness, they certainly prayed for a child (Luke 1:13). They did not allow their emotions to become their God. They did not let childlessness dictate their treatment of God, themselves, or others. They took their pain, displeasure, distress, emptiness, sorrow, and hurt to the throne of grace for help in a time of need (Heb. 4:15-16). They were without a child, but they were not without a God.

Miraculously, Elizabeth went on to conceive at her advanced age. While pregnant, she became the first person to ever publicly declare that Jesus is Lord (Luke 1:39-45). She did not make this insightful proclamation because she was pregnant, but because she was “filled with the Holy Spirit” (Luke 1:41; cf. Matt. 16:16-17). Even though her dreams of being a mother were finally becoming a reality, the joy of her salvation was in her Lord, not her child. Her hope was in a baby boy, just not her baby boy. Read Luke 1:39-45 and pay particular attention to Elizabeth’s source of joy, the arrival of her Lord:

In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

The transcending lessons of Elizabeth’s story encourages all believers to:

endure affliction righteously (2 Timothy 2:12-13)
pray and seek God in the midst of difficulty and trials (Philippians 4:4-9)
use reproach as an opportunity to grow closer to God and our spouses/family instead of a reason for isolation and abandonment (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)
realize that nothing is too hard for God (Jeremiah 32:27)
recognize that God’s goodness is still present in affliction (Psalm 119:67-68)
determine that your source of joy is rooted in the coming of our Lord Jesus and look for that second coming often (Luke 2:10)

[1] John MacArthur and Richard Mayhue, eds., Biblical Doctrine: A Systematic Summary of Biblical Truth (Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway, 2017), 184.

[2] Trent C. Butler Holman New Testament Commentary: Luke,ed. Max Anders(Nashville, TN, B&H Publishing: 2000), 7.

[3] Another appropriate word for reproach is the term “disgrace.” Elizabeth’s situation was seen as more than an unfortunate occurrence, but rather a disgraceful one.